OT: Is this REALLY today's average American family?
Dear Musicals.Net Posters,
I hate to be pessimistic, but it seems to me that the following is today's average American family:
* The husband is at least 7-20 years older than his wife.
* At least one of the spouses has been divorced at least once before.
* The couple has at least 2 children.
* At least one of those children is Autistic.
* The wife has breast implants.
* At least one of the spouses has cheated on the other at least once.
* Almost every one of the couple's kids will become sexually active before the age of 13.
* If one of the children is a girl, she will go away to college claiming to have been raped and/ or molested.
* The husband will begin a Viagra regimen at around 45.
* The husband teaches his boy children to be wary of girls, and the wife teaches her daughters to bash boys as much as they can.
* The girl children want to be kissed by Justin Beiber, and the boy children want to be kissed by Salena Gomez.
* The kids are chatting with strangers on their own computers by the age of 7.
* The husband and the wife will divorce, and there will be a child custody battle.
* The wife wears NO other pants besides low-rise pants, and BOTH parents shave EVERYTHING.
* No female who's over the age of 14 wears any other type of underpants besides thongs.
* If all of the kids are boys, the wife will be preoccupied with her physical looks, and she'll give her sons every single thing that they might ever want.
* If all of the kids are girls, the wife will be preoccupied with dressing them in pink, teaching them how to be cruel to boys, and encouraging them to memorize the phrase "GIRL POWER!", while saying such things as "You can get away with anything, Sweetheart, as long as you know how to flash an innocent smile.".
* Each child will have their own cell phone by the age of 3.
* Both parents will take the "slide an informative booklet under the door" approach to the issue of "The Birds and the Bees".
* If there are both boys and girls in the house, the girls accuse the boys of bragging about their strength too much, and the boys accuse the girls of spending too much time on their hair and makeup.
Feel free to let me know weather or not I'm right about the typical American family.
Thank you in advance for your replies.