Broadway Legend / MdN Veteran
Joined: Sat Mar 01, 2008 7:25 pm
Location: the land of aus
Main Role: Performer
Good point, Music is my life!!!,
Okay, somehow I found act one on my computer..
Here you are.. from just before you enter
“THAT’S YOUR FUNERAL”
MRS. SOWERBERRY: Very well then, that’s your job. Junior coffin-follower... have you eaten yet?
OLIVER: No, ma’am, not since...
MRS. SOWERBERRY: (Shouting) Chatlotte! Charlotte!
CHARLOTTE: (Off) What?
MRS. SOWERBERRY: Bring up some of the cold bits we put out for the dog. It hasn’t been in all day, so it can go
without ‘em. I daresay the boy isn’t too dainty to eat ‘em - are you boy? Charlotte, love, this is the new boy... give them to him.
(CHARLOTTE enters with plate of scraps. OLIVER devours the meager meat on the bones as the SOWERBERRY family looks on amazed. OLIVER soon polishes off what there is, and after an ominous pause)
Have you done!
OLIVER: Yes m’am.
MRS. SOWERBERRY: I’m glad to hear it. Get to bed, Henry. C’mon Charlotte. Don’t just stand there gawking. Now then, Oliver Twist, your bed’s under the counter. You don’t mind sleeping among coffins, I suppose? But it doesn’t much matter whether you do or don’t, you can’t sleep nowhere else!
7 “WHERE IS LOVE”
ACT I, SCENE IV
UNDERTAKER’S SHOP. The next morning. (Music continues as there is a loud kicking on the outside of the shop door. OLIVER steps from behind the counter and begins to undo door chain. The kicking desists and a VOICE begins...)
NOAH: (Off) Open the door, will yer? Open up the door. Open the door.
OLIVER: (Undoing the chain and turning the key) I will directly sir.
NOAH: (Through the keyhole) Are you the new boy?
OLIVER: Yes sir.
NOAH: (Still outside) How old are yer?
OLIVER: Thirteen, sir.
NOAH: Then I’ll wop you one when I get in, you just see if I don’t you little workhouse brat!
(NOAH begins whistling. OLIVER draws back the bolts, opens the door. NOAH CLAYPOLE is
framed in the doorway. He is eating a thick slice of bread and butter)
OLIVER: Did you knock sir?
NOAH: (Between mouthfuls) I kicked.
OLIVER: Did you want a coffin sir?
NOAH: (Very angry) NO! But you’ll be wanting one before very long if you start cheeking your superiors.
(HE enters majestically)
Yer don’t know who I am, I suppose, Workhouse.
OLIVER: No sir, I can’t say as I do.
NOAH: (Punctuating) I’m Mis-ter - No-ah - Clay-pole - and - you’re - under - me! So open up the blind, you idle young
(NOAH kicks OLIVER in the shins. OLIVER begins taking down the shutters, and CHARLOTTE enters with a
tray of food)
CHARLOTTE: Hello, Noah, I saved a nice little bit of bacon for you from master’s breakfast. Oliver! Shut the door!
(OLIVER shuts the door)
And take them bits and your tea and go over there and eat ‘em. And make haste, ‘cos they’ll want you to mind the shop. D’you hear?
(They all begin eating)
NOAH: D’you hear? Work’us?
CHARLOTTE: Lor Noah! What a tease you are! Let the boy alone.
NOAH: Let him alone? I’m giving the boy a change, you silly thing! Ev’ryone lets him alone. His father left him alone - his mother left him alone - they all left him alone except dear old, kind old Noah. Eh, Charlotte? He, he, he!
CHARLOTTE: Ha, ha, ha! You ae a one.
NOAH: (Addressing OLIVER) Work’us! How’s yer mother?
OLIVER: You leave my mother out of this - she’s dead.
NOAH: What did she die of, work’us? Shortage of breath?
OLIVER: Never you mind.
NOAH: Oh, but I do mind.
OLIVER: Well, you’d better not say any more, see!
NOAH: Better not! Better not, if you don’t mind! The cheek of it - the workhouse cheek of it! My mother, ‘e says. She was a nice ‘un, she was.
(NOAH holds HIS nose in disgust)
Yer know, Work’us, it can’t be helped now, and of course, it couldn’t be helped then, and I’m very ssorry for it, and all that, but yer must know, Work’us, your mother was a regular, right-down bad’un.
OLIVER: What did you say?
NOAH: A regular, right-down bad’n. And it’s a good thing she died when she did or she’d have been doing hard labour in prison - as like as not.
(As fast as lightning OLIVER jumps up and throws NOAH over the counter. Music continues underscoring)
NOAH: (Shouting) He’ll murder me! Charlotte! Missis! This here new boy’s a’murderin’ of me! Help! Help! He’s gorn mad! Char - LOTTE!
CHARLOTTE: (Off) What’s up!
MRS. SOWERBERRY: (Off) What on earth can be happening? Coming... coming, Noah.
(Noah Screams again. THEY enter from the kitchen. CHARLOTTE sizes up the situation immediately, and grabs OLIVER with HER utmost forc, which is about equal to that of a moderately strong man in particularly good training.)
CHARLOTTE: Oh, you horrid wretch! You little ungrateful, murderous villan.
(MOTHER and DAUGHTER grab and arm each of OLIVER, and shake HIM like two furies battling for the
village pump. This gives NOAH the opportunity to get up, and pommel OLIVER from behind. THEY finally
drag OLIVER to a coffin, lock HIM in it, and then all sit on it. MRS. SOWERBERRY sits on the coffin -
exhausted. SHE bursts into tears)
MRS. SOWERBERRY: Noah, get help! Charlotte, some water quick!
CHARLOTTE: Oh my dear, she’s going off!
(OLIVER begins kicking on the inside of the lid. NOAH exits to street)
MRS. SOWERBERRY: (Panting) Oh, Charlotte! Oh, Charlotte! We could have all been murdered in our beds!
(CHARLOTTE pours the water over MRS. SOWERBERRY’s head)
Eeeek! Heaven help us! I wanted a drink - a drink! Oh Charlotte, what’s to be done?
(OLIVER kicks harder)
CHARLOTTE: Dear! Dear! I don’t know mother - unless we send for the Bow Street Runners.
(Enter NOAH and MR. BUMBLE through the shop door. Music cadence and out)
NOAH: The beadle!
CHARLOTTE: Mister Bumble!
MRS. SOWERBERRY: Oh! Mister Bumble!
BUMBLE: (With control) Where is he? Dead?
MRS. SOWERBERRY: Very much alive.
(THEY all point to the coffin. There is complete silence as MR. BUMBLE tiptoes over and taps twice on the coffin lid)
OLIVER: You let me out of here!
BUMBLE: Do you know this here voice, Oliver!
OLIVER: Yes, I do.
BUMBLE: And ain’t you afraid of it, Oliver! Ain’t you a-tremblin’ while I speak, Oliver?
OLIVER: No, I’m not.
(MR. BUMBLE staggers back and looks at the three bystanders in astonishment)
MRS. SOWERBERRY: Of course, the boy’s insane, Mr. Bumble. No boy in half his sense could ventre to speak so to you
BUMBLE: It’s not madness, madam. (He Pauses) It’s meat!
MRS. SOWERBERRY: What?
BUMBLE: Meat, madam, meat. You’ve overfed him, madam. You’ve raised an artificial spirit in the boy unbecoming of his station in life. If you’d kept him on gruel, madam, this would never have happened.
MRS. SOWERBERRY: Dear, dear! This is what comes of being generous.
BUMBLE: Ah, yes indeed! The only thing that can be done now, that I know of, is for me to take him back for a day or so, till he’s a little starved down. I’ll keep him on gruel.
(MR. SOWERBERRY enters from the street)
He comes of a bad family.
SOWERBERRY: What’s going on in my parlor?
(OLIVER resumes HIS kicking. MRS. SOWERBERRY points at the coffin)
MRS. SOWERBERRY: That boy! Oliver! You’ve no idea what he’s been up to. We had to lock him up! Never in all my life -
(MR. BUMBLE opens the coffin and pulls OLIVER out by the scruff of the neck)
BUMBLE: (Prodding OLIVER) Now, you’re a nice young fellow, ain’t yer?
OLIVER: (At NOAH) He called my mother names.
MRS. SOWERBERRY: Well, and what if he did, you little ungrateful wretch? She probably deserved what was said, and
OLIVER: She didn’t!
MRS. SOWERBERRY: She did!
OLIVER: It’s a lie!
(MRS. SOWERBERRY utters a shriek, and falls into the coffin. THEY all rush to HER attendance, slapping HER
face, and fanning HER with all manner of things. OLIVER takes this opportunity to runout of the street door. MRS. SOWERBERRY gradually comes to. NOAH is the first to discover OLIVER’s escape.)
NOAH: He’s gone!
MRS. SOWERBERRY: (Drowsily) Who’s gone?
CHARLOTTE: Oliver - he’s run off!
SOWERBERRY: Three - pounds - worth run off? Three pounds of mine? Run off? After him!
MR. BUMBLE: (Bellowing to MRS. SOWERBERRY as HE runs) Meat madam! Meat!
(There is chaos as THEY all clamber for the shop door.)
There's alot of standing around in the later scene, so bare that in mind...
I'm playing BABETTE, bitches :-)