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I have trouble trusting men (no offense to any guys here) 
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So, women cheat because they are unhappy because guys are jerks?

It appears to me that in this scenario, the women are the ones doing the cheating. And if said cheating was developed because of the man cheating in the first place, perhaps women should learn that two wrongs don't make a right?

However, three rights do make a left.


Sun Aug 16, 2009 7:55 pm
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Post Re: I have trouble trusting men (no offense to any guys here
Vanessa20 wrote:
And why do so many women have fantasies about finding a bad boy and changing him, as reflected by so many chick flicks? (I don't have those fantasies, but even my mom does sometimes.)


I cannot tell you how much I hate this fantasy. As a straight male who's a "good boy" it really ticks me off, especially when girls pull the whole "men are shallow, women are deep" card. Really, now? :roll:

I think it's funny how misandry/discrimination against males can go unattacked, but if a man expresses misogyny/discrimation against women he gets stoned. Sounds like a double standard to me.

One more thing: where are you getting all those statistics from? 75% seems like a really clean number, almost like an estimation. #-o

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Sun Aug 16, 2009 8:03 pm
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I think that you don't trust men because you hear more negative thing sabout them than positive things. There are more than enough men that you can trust. If you meet someone that you can't trust, you'll know. At least, that's my experience.


Mon Aug 17, 2009 5:33 am
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Trust is something that not only needs to be earned, but maintained.

I have had my trust badly violated by people that were closest to me at one time. Their actions greatly shook my sense of justice and loyalty...

It took me awhile, but I am learning to really trust those around me again. And they have to constantly work to maintain that trust after they've earned it...

It's also good to find someone who's been through the same sort of situation you have been through and can empathize. My current boyfriend had also been cheated on by his ex and ex best friend, so that also helps to have that understanding that, if things aren't working, we can be straight-up about it. We know what it's like to have our trust severely violated and that's the LAST thing we would want to do to each other!

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Mon Aug 17, 2009 9:13 am
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I really dont know what to say to the post. Granted I know you were not aiming to offend, but as a guy it is tough not to be a little offened. I would ask where are you meeting men? Under what circumstances are you agreeing to dates?

I realise there is a ration of bad men out there, but there is equally a ration of bad women. Granted they might be bad in differant terms. On the flip side I believe there is a ration of great women equal to the number of great men in the world.

The stereotype of all men are terribile unreliable dicks is not correct. I believe men a lot of times get bad raps because of the bad eggs that are out there. I also believe that a lot of break up situations are blown up to be worse then they are by pissed off women.

I remember I broke up with a girl because I fell out of love with her. (which shouldnt of been a surprise because we talked about it quite a bit till the end) I heard weeks later that she was telling other people that I broke up with her because I was a jerk and wanted to have sex with differant women. Which exudes me to say that women also publicize there unfortunes with men 100 times more then men do with women. Yes we have our moments but very few compared to women.

I appologise for the rant. Maybe your past experiences are thwarting your efforts and making it difficult for you to trust men. Which past expereiences are understandable. If your basing your complete judgement from a magazine or website article I think you are dead wrong. Please understand there are plenty of good guys out there.

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Mon Aug 17, 2009 12:39 pm
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DaddyDiesel wrote:
I really dont know what to say to the post. Granted I know you were not aiming to offend, but as a guy it is tough not to be a little offened. I would ask where are you meeting men? Under what circumstances are you agreeing to dates?

I realise there is a ration of bad men out there, but there is equally a ration of bad women. Granted they might be bad in differant terms. On the flip side I believe there is a ration of great women equal to the number of great men in the world.

The stereotype of all men are terribile unreliable dicks is not correct. I believe men a lot of times get bad raps because of the bad eggs that are out there. I also believe that a lot of break up situations are blown up to be worse then they are by pissed off women.

I remember I broke up with a girl because I fell out of love with her. (which shouldnt of been a surprise because we talked about it quite a bit till the end) I heard weeks later that she was telling other people that I broke up with her because I was a jerk and wanted to have sex with differant women. Which exudes me to say that women also publicize there unfortunes with men 100 times more then men do with women. Yes we have our moments but very few compared to women.

I appologise for the rant. Maybe your past experiences are thwarting your efforts and making it difficult for you to trust men. Which past expereiences are understandable. If your basing your complete judgement from a magazine or website article I think you are dead wrong. Please understand there are plenty of good guys out there.


DaddyDiesel - you are just a sweetheart!

To the girl that posted this thread - it sounds like you are basing your trust on movies/books/media. Men may be portrayed one way in a book/movie to illicit a response from a reader/watcher. Don't trust based on fiction or fictionalized truths - trust based on your heart. It will take you to much better places :)

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Mon Aug 17, 2009 2:02 pm
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Women cheat just as much as men..it's not a gender thing. Is it really fair to say that men are all cheaters?

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Mon Aug 17, 2009 2:07 pm
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idTAPthat89 wrote:
Women cheat just as much as men..it's not a gender thing. Is it really fair to say that men are all cheaters?


I agree with that completely. Loads of girls who've been cheated on say they hate men or whatever. But it's just as much women who can (and do) cheat.

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Mon Aug 17, 2009 2:09 pm
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idTAPthat89 wrote:
Women cheat just as much as men..it's not a gender thing. Is it really fair to say that men are all cheaters?


Lyss, you couldn't be more correct and I couldn't agree more.

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Mon Aug 17, 2009 4:13 pm
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Thanks for your responses everyone. They really make me feel better. I've waited this long to respond because I wanted to get a lot of responses first. I'm sorry if I came across as a misandrist pain in the ass, but I just have certain fears (caused by the media, my Asperger's, my cynical female English and psychology professors, my dad's temper, or whatever), and I wanted some advice because I want to be able to have healthy relationships when the time comes. :D :D :D


Thu Aug 20, 2009 10:37 pm
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Vanessa, with Aspies it's quite scary to consider getting involved with men. The media present romances as overwhelmingly difficult, complicated, and ending in painful breakup - just look at all those trashy magazines that deal with Z-list celebrities. In real life, so long as you keep it light, it's a LOT easier.

I went through a decade of being unwillingly single, met scores of men - all very different - one thing they had in common, though, was that they were all out there looking for a nice decent woman as much as I was looking for a nice decent man, but most of the time you find out that your personalities, ambitions and lifestyles simply don't match closely enough to make it a lasting partnership. That doesn't make the guy a jerk, it just means he didn't fit.

So long as you bear in mind that guys are at least as nervous as you are about making contact and dating, and you maintain an attitude of cheerful light-heartedness, you should avoid getting too intensely involved at too early a stage and should therefore give yourself a good chance of getting to know young men as people, not just Boys, which will improve your likelihood of finding a compatible one.

Basically, remember they're nervous too, they're people too, and don't get all intense and deep after a brief period. That scares them off!


(ps and I had that kind of professor, too... dare one consider them as embittered, socially-inept women who had personally failed in the Getting A Man stakes, so became super-cynical feminists? They do exist!)

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Fri Aug 21, 2009 5:51 am
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