Dear Musicals.Net Posters,
I was recently chatting online about "college roommates from Hell", and someone whom I'll call Sally told me about her mid-1970s roommate, who was strange, indeed. After Sally had told me her story, I told her that I was actually fascinated by her roommate, whose name was Sarah.
The following story is actually Sally's story, so I can take no credit for it:
Sally and her roommate, Sarah, began their college careers during the Autumn semester of 1975! Sally was a typical 1970s high school graduate, who was eager to get out of her hometown, wear as much tie-dyed clothing as she wished, and be absolutely wild and experimental.
To say that Sarah was more into the Retro 1950s craze of the 1970s would be a major understatement. When she first moved into that dorm room with Sally, Sarah SEEMED to just be enthusiastic, if slightly high-strung. Her accessories were all 1950s-style, and her wardrobe was nothing but the EXACT SAME 1950s-STYLE DRESS, replicated like a mad rabbit, in every conceivable 1950s pastel color! Sarah's dark blonde hair was styled into a Barbie-type ponytail, which was tied up with a perky ribbon bow, and her blue eyes were expectant and demure!
The story behind Sarah's clothing was slightly strange. Sarah had played the role of Kim in "Bye Bye, Birdie!" during high school, and her dresses were actually identical replications of her Kim costume; she had loved that costume so much that she'd had 7 or so more identically-designed, pastel-hued dresses made by her mother (Her original costume had been pastel pink, and the other 7 dresses were pastel pink, baby blue, mint green, pastel yellow, lilac, light peach-orange, and off-white)! She liked to wear color-matched accessories with these dresses (flat shoes, ribbon bows, little purses, etc., and full slips, etc., so that the dresses would whirl when she twirled!
Sally thought that she could get along with Sarah, but she was wrong. Sarah THOUGHT like a 1950s girl! She wanted absolute silence while she studied, and she hated cussing, and she was constantly popping her bubble gum. She insisted upon watching "Happy Days" on her 1850s, black and white T.V., and each night she'd fantasize, loudly, about The Fonz, while staring up at the poster of Fonzie, which she'd taped to the ceiling above her bed; she desired Henry Winkler with the passion of a mad Elvis fan!
To Sarah's delight, the college decided to put on a production of "Bye bye, Birdie!". Since she was also a rabid Ann-Margret fan, and a fan of all things "Bye Bye, Birdie!", Sarah went absolutely insane for the auditions, dolling herself up, insisting that she would be Kim, etc. When Sarah got the role of her dreams, Sally's inner devil almost considered homicide, because Sally was beginning to dislike Sarah, and she certainly wasn't looking forward to hearing about the role of Kim for God only knew how long a stretch of time.
The musical was actually a success, although Sarah, convinced that she WAS Kim, tried to begin relationships with both "Hugo" AND "Birdie" offstage; when these delusional relationships didn't work, Sarah went into a blue funk for weeks, drinking "pop" until she couldn't help belching, and crying, continuously; Sally didn't know weather to yell at her or to send her to a counselor.
Sally decided to be nice; after all, her free-minded friend, whom we will call Joe, had told her that Sarah must be suffering from a traumatic, repressed memory syndrome (Ie: Maybe a family member had attacked her long ago, or forced her to become someone whom she wasn't meant to be, etc.). Sally told Sarah to cheer up, and she even introduced her to Joe, but later, when the two girls were eating lunch together, and Sarah said "Joe would look sooo cool as The Fonz!", Sally decided to warn Joe to "run for his life"! She quickly introduced Sarah to a nice square who took a class with her, and she prayed that Joe would be left alone. He was, and he was grateful; he and Sally began dating after that.
When Christmas Break rolled around, Sarah announced that she had told her parents that she was going to spend Christmas with Sally! She didn't drive, so she rode home with Sally, trying, from time to time, to convince Sally that she should get a 1950s car. Sally's entire Christmas Break was ruined! Sarah had a specific Wish List, and she wouldn't eat certain foods. She insisted upon going shopping almost every day, and she wanted to watch "Happy Days" whenever it aired, even though she then pouted because the show was in color at Sally's house.
Sally found a moment to beg her mother for mercy, but her mom claimed that Sarah might, in some strange way, be a good influence on Sally, and that she should room with her for at least the rest of the year! The second semester was Hell for Sally, but Joe kept her sane, and, at the end of the year, she wished Sarah and her square boyfriend luck, and she headed for the beach with Joe.
What happened to Sarah? Well, she and the square stuck to each other like glue. He became a lawyer, and she majored in Home Economics. When "Grease" came to the local theatre, Sarah and her square went to see it, and Sarah instantly adopted Sandy's personality, clothing style, etc., even though she still fantasized, loudly, about The Fonz whenever her square wasn't near to her.
What about her roommates during her Sophomore and Junior years? Well, they tolerated her, but they weren't thrilled with her. Everybody was glad when she finally got an apartment at the beginning of her Senior year. By that time, the scuttlebutt was heavy with stories about her obsessive crushes on The Fonz, John Travolta, and several professors of hers! It was also said that Henry Winkler had received over 10,000,000 letters from her during the past 3 or so years, and that Sarah had even planned to prevent Winkler from ever having any other wife but her!
She and the square married each other right after college, and nobody seems to remember much about whatever happened to Sarah after that, except that she kept showing up at reunions, still dressed like a 1950s gal, gabbing about her house parties, and insisting that every daughter that she had would be Kim someday!
Thank you in advance for your replies.