[AnnieOakley]

Ok so I dont think there is topic about this...

I have just read MaryMags posting in weird things that happen in auditions about pushy mums conducting their children in auditions.

How far do you have to go to be a pushy mum??????

I am only wondering this as I have 2 girls of 4 and 8 and they both love musical theatre .. my oldest daughter has a great voice and I like her to audition for as many things as possible ...although I am very critical and I dont make them do anything if they say they dont want to do it.

I have come across a lot of pushy mums and I hate them drives me mad but what does everybody else class as a pushy mum ....... and what is acceptable at auditions etc when stating what your child has been involved in

P.s please let me now any examples you have come across as some of thepeople I have met just make me cringe .....

[jazzygirlsings]

You are a pushy mum when your child says to you, "I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS ANYMORE! IT'S NOT FUN!" and you INSIST that they go onstage...

The most important thing to remember is that it HAS to be fun for your child or you're making it into a chore for them. They should be telling you that they can't WAIT to get onstage!

Now, if your child is deep into rehearsals and is complaining, you have to stress that they must finish what they started (because that's always a good lesson to learn), but the next time they want to do a show- you should question them about why and remind them of their behavior the last time they wanted to do a show.

I've done SOM twice with 3 casts of children...I've seen it all! LOL!

One of the worst things I saw was a woman waiting for her child to audition and (in the audition room) the kid was running around and having fun. She couldn't have been any older than 6 or 7. The mother screams out, "GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW! THIS IS JOB TIME! THIS IS NOT FUN TIME!"

Yeah...and the girl started crying.

[MademoiselleMusicals]

[sunrae]

Ok, I have two examples of what I consider to be pushy stage moms. We will call them mom/child 1 and mom/child 2.

So child 1 and I had both auditioned for a show. (We were about 12 at the time I think.) I didn't get a callback or cast in the show. Well, after they had cast the show mom 1 calls up my mom to ask if she can come over to drop off a tape that child 1 had borrowed from me a few months back. So mom 1 comes over and drops it off and talks to my mom and proceeds to ask if I got cast in the show we had tried out for (knowing full well that I wasn't cast). And my mom said no. And mom 1 said with a snooty attitude, "Oh well, that's too bad. You know child 1 did though!" I swear she came over just to rub it in my face. Erg. That lady pissed me off.

Child 2 and I were in a show together and we were both getting ready for another audition. We were talking in the dressing room while mom 2 was doing child 2's hair. I asked child 2 what song she was singing for auditions and she told me. And I said, oh! I'm singing that song too! Mom 2 then turned to me and looked me in the eyes and said "Yeah, well child 2 sings it good." Why would you say that to a kid! Arg. Whatever.

So, I would add to the above posts that a pushy mom is also one who feels that they need to defend or fight or whatever you call it for their child. Both of those kids loved the theatre and wanted to be there and both of them had egos the size of Texas. The problem was that their moms had egos the size of Alaska!

[jazzygirlsings]

[sunrae]

[jazzygirlsings]

[shadowdancer]

I am going to be the world's worst, or best, stage mom!

[MsDivaKate]

My sister's friend (who actually is sitting in my living room right now) has a mother that has a club of her stage mom friends and they all sit around and talk about what auditions their kids are going to etc etc etc. Its gotten better since the kids are in high school now, but most of the mothers in that group are the awful sort of stage mothers.

My own mother was turning into sort of a stage mom after my sister had been called in to do two professional shows, but after my sister's grades were effected by the late rehearsals, my mom had the sense enough in her to limit my sister to only being able to do shows outside of school during the summer months.

[jazzygirlsings]

[shadowdancer]

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[KateyGee]

well the only example of a stage mom I've ever seen which was pretty bad, was my friend (when we were about 9) wanted to quit taking dance because she was tired of it. Her mom used to be a dancer and she was all "You can't quit. etc." Anyway my friend got chicken pox about two weeks later and her mom flipped and told her she got it on purpose, stuff like that. Basically, my friend flat out refused to ever go back to dance. And has been like emotionally scarred from that.

[MaryMag]

Yeah, I would say the first and surest sign of being a stage mom is making your child continue doing something he/she is not interested in. But the worst stage moms will have a thousand reasons to explain why they're not stage moms. And if you're wrongly called a stage mom, who cares. If you sincerely listen to and love your child, who cares what people call you! Cuz you are a super person!

[momsterv]

I have a daughter who is now in her teens and has been doing shows a long time. I've seen some pretty incredible examples of stage moms and I decided a long time ago that is exactly what I did NOT want to be.

So it's always been her choice what she wants to audition for, and which classes she wants to take. I'll point out auditions and classes that I think would be good for her, but it's got to be her that wants to do it. I've met some wonderful people through her theatre activities, and some have turned into really close friends, so I enjoy what she does.

I'm really lucky, my daughter is a great kid, and she is very appreciative of the opportunities she's gotten, and of the effort that other people put in to make it happen. I've tried to make sure she keeps a good head on her shoulders.

Neither one of us is perfect, but maybe with less examples of the worst in people to make us aware of what could happen ... it could have gone a different way.

[MademoiselleMusicals]