Archive for Musicals.Net Musicals.Net |
| Rumblepurr |
Letter to the CATS ForumTo All Members of the CATS ForumSubject: VTWC I recently received a PM from VTWC in answer to one I had sent her concerning her behavior on the CATS Forum. I wrote to her as a member of this Forum and not as a Moderator. In short, I told her that I knew of her having Bipolar Disorder, and that I also knew she could be getting treatment for it. BD is not an excuse for the rude posts if she were truly fighting the problem. I also said that I hoped I was wrong and that she was actually trying to get better. I knew that KID believed in her, and I trust KID’s judgment here. I have known the good doctor for a few years, and I know his character. If he saw some good in VTWC, then there must be something inside her. I asked her plain and simple – did she want me to give up on her, or go along with KID and continue to believe in her… I received a lengthy reply, and I am going to simply report on what was said, and give her some privacy here. Her doctor diagnosed her with Severe Depression and was suicidal on the 30th of January. She had been admitted into a new psychiatric facility and was given different medications. At this point, and I quote: she told me “I apologize for my behavior.” The reason KID understands her is that he is a doctor and has seen people go through this. This condition can be treated, but only with the greatest of help and support. Before this time, VTWC was not getting the proper help and the right medications. Bipolar Disorder causes a person to go from feeling extremely depressed to feeling excited (mania) – a veritable roller coaster of emotions. Because she was frustrated with dealing with her emotions, she admitted that she took her frustrations out on the Forum… But in retrospect, she also feels she has been terribly treated and harassed by the Forum’s members. Either way, the entire thing came to a very sad conclusion… During her teens and up until a few years ago, CATS was the only lifeline she had to control some of the effects of BD. But now, VTWC has had to drop out of her costuming duties with the regional shows of CATS because of the deepening of this disorder. Likewise, she is being told to stay off of the CATS Forum and anything having to do with CATS. Although the show is something she truly loves, she is being told to give up all ties to the show… Now, all she has is her Church, and her husband… and a few friends who still believe in her. (At this point, let me relate something. At one time, her lifeline to keep her sane was CATS. I can sympathize with her there because it meant the same thing to me six years ago. In 2000, my job as a computer analyst figuratively died… I resigned from my work because I could literally not function in it, and probably was on the road to Depression when someone asked me what I wanted to do. I said, “I want to be a writer…” At that point, I had become interested in CATS again, and had begun to write fanfiction. A few people read what I wrote, and did something that helped me back from all the negativity I had to deal with… They said something like… “I like what you do!” For the past six years, CATS has been my lifeline in getting back to being somewhat productive…) I realize that many Forum members do not have any fondness for VTWC, and I am not here to tell you to change your mindset. I am, however, asking you to take a moment and consider yourself in the same boat, so to speak. Just the mere mention of her using CATS as a lifeline did it for me… For those interested or wishing to know more about Bipolar Disorder, please use the following link: http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/000926.htm For those wishing to read verbatim the letter sent to me, please e-mail me at: dccallin@verizon.net or PM me on the CATS Forum. Respectfully, Rumblepurr CATS Moderator  and The Writer Cat.
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| Spanish_Rumple |
I've studied the degree of Psychology, I know what BD is and in the summercam I went to in the USA I had a couple of BD kids... but still I knew too little of VTWC to get that she had that mental problem...
Rumblepurr, I feel bad for telling the rest to don't pay attention to her because now I understand that That was what she needed the most, being given some attention and care... Tell her I'm sorry. But, on the other hand having BD is not an excuse for being rude. As far as I know when you have BD you go through stages of deep depression to stages of even hyperactivity or excitement, the only mental problem that causes to speak with bad words and hate words is... I can't remember now the name, it's not Parkingson but another sikness that affects the nervous system Schlerosis Multiple maybe?? I can't remember... or on the other hand also psychosis can provoke that because people with a psychosis can't stablish a connection with the others or have empathy. Although the Bipolar Syndrome is in the limits between neurosis and psychosis, isn't it? Anyway, I was just trying to tell the people to not get what she said too personally, and when I said not to pay her attention was in order to make her see that she wasn't being very nice either... This is only a forum where people give opinions, and I have found it very interesting and amusing too, I'm always coming back to see if I've got replies or if there's any interesting topic about pictures, drawings, costumes...etc it's become part of my life too and I bet it's become part of everybody's life in here too. I wouldn't encourage VTWC to leave this, if she's really making the effort to overcome BD or at least adapt her life to the sickness in a better way, I'm sure that taking part in the conversations could be of help to her. On the other hand I see that you are all very supportive for example with Littlgriz and her kittens, with the girls birthdays, with people who are having problems at home...etc. You all have a lot of patience!! hehehe!! (you allways show that ability in your ellaborate drawings) Ok. That's long enough... 
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| Rahlee |
Heh, I wish I could have a lengthy explanation (warning? disclaimer?) for every person I meet and every where I go, online or elsewhere, that explains my own reasons behind my behavior: Asperger's Syndrome/Disorder, severe anxiety, depression, and several phobias. Certainly nothing compared to the baggage a lot of other people have, but it and encounters with people in general have made me a very difficult person to socialize and live with. To be honest, I feel bad for VTWC, I really do, but I feel little else. I have nothing against her, but this just makes me feel even more indignant and frustrated, jealous even. So now we can understand why VTWC can act the way she does. Good. I'm glad. I hope life gets a lot easier and happier for her.
But...you know, if I wasn't so...well, honestly, I'm angry, and if I wasn't, I'd feel more sympathy for her, but right now I'm not... |
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| Spanish_Rumple |
Ralli wrote:
Rahlee, Ralli, Rallers...etc (just joking) I've mentioned that too in my quite long expression of thoughts, look: I wrote:
Yeah I was going to support that... but I'm rethinking what I've just said. Maybe she has been rude unconsciously. I mean, that maybe she didn't mean the way she reacted but she reacted like that when she was in her mania stage... Rublepurr... I think I'm getting a bit confused... I've done the 4 years of Psycho but it was too general. I can identify Bipolar Disorder, and also Asperger and many others, because I have studied them but in a too much general way. So maybe I shouldn't speak too much. 
Anyway, Rahlee you're not expected to accept her behaviour just because she's BD, the same way she is not expected to accept any bad issue of yours when you are at your worst moment, neither have any of us... Knowing these details helps to understand reactions, but understanding doesn't mean accepting, of course. Look, before knowing it you felt angry because she was speaking in a rude way that afected you, now you've just said that you feel bad for her. See? that's a change in some way, because it means that you understand more the reaction. (it doesn't mean that you accept it, huh) (I hope I'm making myself clear.... it's hard trying to express my abstract thoughts in another language...it's hard yet in my own language!  )
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| Etcetera Kitten |
I wish I had known of VTWC's problem! As a new member on this forum and the Cats Costume Board, I wasn't aware at all that she had a bipolar disorder. I understand now what caused her changing behavior. I myself have a good friend that is affected with a light BP, so I do know that these people need some special attention if they want to get over it.
I hope VTWC gets the appropriated cares and medication, and that her family and friends will support her. As a Cats fan, I am trying to put myself in her shoes, and despite the fact that she may have had a strang behavior in the past, I do think that she could reintegrate the forums in a near future, and that the other fans' attitute would be changed. Thank you Rumplepurr for informing us all about her problem, and please tell her that I'm with her and that I wish her the best. And tell her not to give up, because probably she probably will have to go through hard stuff, but in the end it's probably gonna be worth it. With love and respect EK |
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| Belle |
However tragic the cause of one's behavior may be, part of life in a community is dealing with the consequences of your own behavior. You cannot use a medical condition as a crutch, an excuse to behave however you like - "Oh, but it's not my fault, I'm depressed". We all have to fight against problems in life, and still get on.
I'm glad VTWC is getting the help she needs, and I'm glad she has the support of her real-life friends and relations. They will be of far more help to her than an internet fandom where she is so unpopular - being around so much negativity as she has generated here can only make depression worse. I wish her well in her future. |
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| Moongewl |
I think that it's for the best that she not come back here. To put it plainly, she was coming here for the wrong reasons, whatever they were. It may have been a punishment thing, her feeling that by coming here and being ragged on she was being duly punished for imagined transgressions, or it may have been so she could feel superior for having riled people up, or something similar, but in any case it couldn't have been healthy, and she's probably never going to escape the stigma of being VTWC in the Cats fandom.
As others have said, being bipolar is not an excuse to act without regard for others, and I always took it rather personally when I felt she was "shoving it in people's faces" like some sort of all-purpose explanation for being a brat, because I have two siblings who are both extremely manic-depressive. The things she would say and they way she would say them were often inflammatory, but I for one do not consider myself blameless for rising to the bait. Everyone has problems. It's too bad VTWC took so long to start sorting hers out. I consider the four-plus years(nearly a quarter of my life thus far) I spent in the depths of depression to be four very important years I can never have back. That time was a nightmare, and I imagine bipolar disorder is no less painful. Maybe forgiveness can't come from everyone immediately--which is perfectly understandable, and I've been known to hold a grudge for months--but I think that even if we can't all forgive her right now, at least we want her to get better. |
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| MsJellicle |
I would like to clarify something here. VTWC had been getting help for her BD for a long time now. She has tried different medications, as well as tried being off the medications and trying to do natural things to help, and then went back to medications. It's only recently that her disorder has gotten worse, and thus the reason her doctors have told her to stay away from CATS.
As I see it, the "stigma" of VTWC depends on each individual person. She has been struggling with this off and on, and we've seen the good an bad days from her posts here. Unfortunately, I've seen posts by her in which people take what she said the wrong way only because of things she has said and done in the past, and in reality, she really meant nothing mean at all by her comments. People had only assumed she was being faciteous(sp?). Then, of course, there were times in which she really should not have posted what she did. However, at least some of those times, I see it as her not trying to one-up everyone else, but more as her in a depression and really wanting to think good of herself. In essence, she wasn't really trying to convince everyone here that she's terrific. She was trying to convince herself. At least, that's how I see it, and probably why I suppose that I'm a little more forgiving than some others. I don't believe that VTWC had written her letter (yes, I've read it) as an excuse. It was more as an explanation of her recent behaviour...which she has apologized for because she recognized that it was wrong. Well, that's how I see things, anyhow. ~MsJ |
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| Nemi |
I have little to add, honestly...
Other than the fact that a close friend in real life has BD and severe depression, and he's... quite a trip sometimes. He has been getting help for it for years now, and I know how hard it is to know someone who's going through it-- so it's got to be only harder for that person. There are times when he's such a horrible jerk to everyone, and seems to have no trouble being boastful or making other people feel bad... and there are others when he feels horrible about it, and others when he's the nicest person in the world... part of something that could only be described as a pristine, perfect American family. But, out of my personal life there... Again, I'll be the first (or...er... whatever number poster I am...) to say that I've been severely ticked off at things VTWC has said, but I've also seen her be horribly helpful aswell. As for the facetious nature of the rest of us that MsJ mentioned... I don't think it's so much that we ever were searching for something sinister in her posts, but that the language of the internet is a voiceless one. Or the fact that they were worded in a very 'inflammatory' way, as Gewl said. I'm very glad that she's getting help, though, and that she knows that she's been trying too hard, for the most part, to impress us all and herself. I've got a grudge, of course, and I very likely will... but I am glad that she's working on getting better and realizing things she's said weren't necessarily the right things to say. [/ramble] |
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| MsJellicle |
Just to clarify, I didn't say facetious nature of the others here on the forum, I said that others thought that VTWC may have said something facetious. 
I agree that it is hard to decifer the tone of voice on a message board, and that may have been the case for some, or perhaps even all the responses she had gotten. However, I still think (and I admit that I could very well be wrong..it's just an opinion, after all) that some may have been looking for negativity, whether they realized it or not. For example, I lived with my sister and her three kids for a number of years. We didn't always get along and fought constantly (unfortunately). It got to the point in which anytime she would talk to me, I would automatically go into 'defensive mode' without really realizing it (I only realized it looking back in time). Whenever she would say something, I would automatically start to think "Now what is she really trying to say?" or "What did she mean by that?" instead of taking what she said verbatim. So, basically, I was looking for something that was negative from her, when she wasn't really trying to be negative at all (sometimes...not all the time, though). I still do that at times now, but at least I'm aware of it and can control my reactions accordingly. I hope that makes sense. ~MsJ |
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| Nemi |
Now, that was my poor wording, actually. I didn't mean to say that I thought that you were indicating that we were facetious people. I should have said something like... facetiousness-exploiting tendancies or something. I understood what you meant, love... I just did a poor job of making a sentance. |
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| Soloque |
Parts of this are completely understandable and I am about to share way too much than I choose to on a forum. I am Bipolar/Manic depressive, but it doesnt mean I lash out whenever I want, when I feel somethings wrong I make sure to go get help, I have been diagnosed with this since I was 14 and I dont feel its fair to use that as a complete excuse. I work in phone sales when I am not performing and if I yell and snap at a customer I cant go 'Im sorry I am bipolar' you do what you need to to function in the real world. I have gone through many medications, therapists, hospitals, hypnostists...I understand its hard, but if you are feeling that way DONT let yourself take it out on others. I would go to my room and scream and lashout there then take a nap. Or sometimes take it out on Smudge when I really wanted to  While I understand having the condition and how hard it can be I dont think it is fair to use it as an excuse for hurting others, and with proper dosage and medication you can live happily without feeling the weight and unhappiness (I do) It is possible to function like a normal person.(Although, Im not normal )
The End ~Solo... EDIT- As far as 'using cats for a lifeline' thats what I use dancing and theatre for but even when something you love becomes something you are dreading you need to step back from it for a moment and re-evaluate where you are. Without Theatre and Dance (and marine life) Im dead, but everyone has things that make them happy. Just have to remember to use things even favorite things in moderation. |
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| Smudge |
I, for one, have absolutely no sympathy or understanding for VTWC. I say good riddance to bad rubbish. I lived with Solo for a long time and we're still very very close friends. She has her issues sometimes, but have you ever seen her flip out on somone (or a whole group of someones, as was the case at the costume forum a few weeks ago) at this place because she was mad at the world? Nooooo, and she certainly doesn't do that in real life. Now, I love Solo dearly, but the girl has her problems (don't we all. I'm just using you as an example cuz you set yourself up, Solo), and if she can function like a normal human being, then so can VTWC. If Cats has been such a lifeline for her, then why has she seemingly made it her personal mission in life to piss off everyone she encounters in the Cats community? That makes absolutely no sense to me, and I, therefore, have no qualms with sticking to my rather morose opinion of her. Not-So-Respectfully Submitted, Smudge EDIT: And it's not like she's made some big secret of her illness. In fact, she's often promoted it, using it as a shield behind which she can hide and bitch and bitch and bitch and moan |
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| Soloque |
I know Im a good example of one with set backs who has worked hard to make her mark in the world. I was born magnificent. excuse me for tooting (hahaha toot) my own horn but I am darn proud of what I have made of myself. 
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| Filakatessa |
I for one have always kept my fingers away from the keyboard when problems arrive involving VTWC because I know how they'll always end...reminicent of Evan, in fact.
At any rate, I just wanted to address the other side of what Solo and Smudge are referring to. I am proud of you being able to handle your Bipolar disorder. Everyone who is afflicted should be so lucky. The truth is, not everyone can psychologically handle what is going on. I know of a woman who would take her meds and once she felt better figured that she didn't need them anymore, would stop taking them, and end up worse than before. She would have fits of laugher or crying because she simply could not handle herself like she should. So, the fact of the matter is, it treats everyone differently. There is no one way about it. Hopefully with time and positive support from her family and loved ones, she'll be able to overcome her fits. I'm not letting her get away with blaming her attitude on the board to her disorder, though. You ultimately have the choice in what you say when you type on those keys and click the submit button. But don't you think that we finally cut her some slack? We all can be nasty people, some more than others. If she is now in a situation where she will not envoke the wrath of other members, shouldn't we just leave it all alone, wish her the best and move on with our merry Cats-obsessed lives? Just a thought with no offence to anyone intended *group hug* |
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| abbeycat |
I just hope she gets better soon as i know costuming was something she was truly passionate about.
Fair enough she did air views that often upset people but it was as Rumblepurr mentioned, a lifeline to her. I am sending positive thoughts to her. However in some strange way maybe it has brought some of us closer together as some members are choosing to reveal things they would normally not show, so Im glad the rest of us that are left are respectful enough and tolerant enough of others to be able to reveal such things. hope you are all having a good day. Sunny skies to all Abbey x |
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| Jemima57 |
Okay I feel sorry for her, as well as I feel sorry for every person I 'know' who has health or mental problems.
But... I don't think her illness should be taken as an excuse. For when she feels better, why doesn't she come on the forum and explain she had a bad period ? Out of newbies, we all knew about her illness for a long time. It has never been a secret. If I remember correctly, she does always the same thing : spends a few weeks on the board beeing arrogant and rude (like when she talked about her Cats collection after New Orleans' disaster that touched Carbucketty's house), then disappears for a few weeks (or months), then comes back, and so on. I usually ignore her, and will continue to do so if she re-appears. |
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| Akeyla |
As much as I respect and feel for her for having such an illness, I believe it does not excuse the rudeness and also the many people she owed stuff that was paid for. And I've been watching that a long time. I'm not a newbie.
I was again and and again ready to forget and start anew with an opinion of her doings. I am even now. Its just that compared to Evans "you suck" reply to every post she was always too hautyly and proud putting down things she often did not even know enough of. And I'm one of the persons who really hates exaggerated pride. you see, thats just not an excuse in my eyes. But anyhow, despite that i highly recommend her to leave this community for a while, I am ready to start anew again. greets Akeyla[/i] |
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| littlgriz |
rightwin i fifirst sawe her in rea life i loved her persanalitey i sstil lov her im sorey shes going thrue this bad dases i wil be praying fore her thats the best thing to do |
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| Soloque |
I totally agree with what you are saying. I too did that. You get on the meds and you feel fine so after awhile youre like 'I dont need these' Trust me, bad news for everyone around. I am not saying Im the poster child for Depression but I have been to rock bottom and back without hurting other people. I am nooooot saying its easy, at all. Its just possible. Its not easy for anyone, its sooo hard and so many times you want nothing more than just to give up. I have sympathy for what VTWC is going through but she doesnt need to hurt other people in the process. But I totally know what you are saying
~Solo... |
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| Natasha |
As I'm a newbie, I don't know anything about that...
But I am very sorry for VTWC. I know a few people who have a similar problem... I've never studied Psychology, but, while communicating with them, I've learned many things... I've got many thoughts, but I'm afraid I can't tell them correctly even in russian, so that they say exactly what I mean... I hope VTWC will soon be better. Is there anything I could do for her? |
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| Drumdraper |
I wish VTWC the best and should she ever return to the board that she give us the VTWC that has the passion for Cats that so many of us have and share with us her experiences that we try to do whenever we come to the board. | ||||
| Rumblepurr |
One clarificationPlease allow me to clarify one vital point in this thread. Several of you have mentioned that Bipolar Disorder should not be used as an excuse for incorrect behavior. I believe I stated that as one point when I wrote to VTWC concerning the Casting Discussion. As Soloque mentioned, there are ways of combating the adverse effects and surviving BD in public - I humbly admire you for that... However, the letter was not meant to serve as an "excuse"...The posting of the letter was two-fold... First - to convince the Forum that VTWC was having problems, that she was taking out her frustrations on the Forum, and that she apologizes for it... Second - to provide you with some understanding. Some of you already do understand - and a few know of it very personally... The letter was meant primarily for those you do not understand the situation... For the longest time, I, too, wondered why she never wrote an apology to anyone she offended or slighted over the years... This time, she did... And I have accepted it. The same goes to everyone reading this. You can accept it as well, or not - your choice... Respectfully, Rumblepurr CATS Moderator AND The Writer Cat.
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| Smudge |
That's something that happens with probably 85% of people who are bipolar. Another reason they tend to go off meds, other than thinking they're better and don't need them, is that they miss the highs they have without medication and are willing to accept the lows in order to get them back. I'm not saying that's true of everyone, but it's probably true of a good quarter to half of those that go off their meds. Point being, bipolar people HAVE TO STAY on their meds. If they don't, the levelling of moods that they have experienced while on medication goes out the window and you have those drastic swings to deal with. It's a HUGE part of treating and living with bipolar. As for VTWC, I am sorry that's she's having to give up costuming for a while. It's something she obviously loves and has a lot of talent for, even if that talent does make her ego rather massive... With luck and good doctors, perhaps it won't be too long before she can get back to it. Even as much as I currently dislike her, I would be willing to forgive and forget if, when she comes back, she is a more agreeable, easy to get along with person. The snotty rudeness and inflated ego have GOT to go though. ~Smudge Note: Any figures I put up there in my spiel about bipolar are only guestimates. I haven't done any recent research on the subject, so I don't actually have any facts to give you. Anyone who does, feel free to correct me. |
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| Moongewl |
That's the thing, right there. These problems are worse for some than for others, and they affect people differently. My brother got crazy and mean, but my sister just got hard to handle emotionally. You're expected to make (reasonable) allowances for problems such as these, when you're in a social setting. I'm not saying we should've just let her make mean comments anytime she wanted, but, well, "Good riddance to bad rubbish" is awfully harsh, no? "Forgiving means abandoning your right to pay back the perpetrator in his own coin, but it is a loss that liberates the victim." |
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| Smudge |
Compare my one comment "good riddance to bad rubbish" to all the mean, hurtful, snotty, holier-than-thou comments she's made over the years and, no, I don't think it's harsh at all. I think it's perfectly apt.
Great quote, and absolutely true. However, I'm not willing to just be like "Oh, she has problems, it's not her fault she's a ruthless bitch every time she comes to the forum...I think I'll just let it go." I don't believe, in this case, that forgiveness should be unconditional. IF she can come back here and be a functional part of the community, and leave the snide haughtiness behind, THEN I will be willing to forgive/forget past transgressions. I am, unfortunately, not optimistic that this will be the case if/when she comes back. Nothing would please me more than to be proven wrong on that account. |
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| Moongewl |
Forgiveness isn't what I'm suggesting. I'm just saying try to understand, and let the past stay there. Did she really hurt you so much that you want to hold a grudge indefinitely? | ||||
| Smudge |
I just got done saying that I'm willing to let it go, therefore not holding it indefinitely. I am, however, perfectly able to hold it as long as needed, if her behaviour doesn't change. She never did more than piss me off, but she's stepped on a lot of toes here over the years, almost all intentionally. I can understand that she's been taking things from her 'real life' out on the board, but i don't see any sense in letting it go if the same crap is going to continue. |
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| darkmage |
Wow. 
To be quite honest, I'm neutral in all of this. I remember when she ran a Cats fanzine about a decade ago, I've still got a few issues buried w/my Stack O'Tour Brochures. Considering some of the nitwits and morons I've run into on the Net over the years (*cough* the vast bulk of Cruxshadows fans for starters *cough*) VTWC seems pretty tame. Hell, everyone's got issues..but I can see where everyone is coming from and it seems like everyone's got at least one or two valid points. All I can do is wish everyone involved my best and hope everything works out well. *shrug* |
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| Dax |
I recognize her bad days and good days...
*shrugs* Kinda part of the family... 
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| Creol |
Re: One clarification
At that I do need to come out of lurking for a moment. Pretty much every poster on every board at one time of another has made posts along the same vein as some of VTWC's. One thing or another sets you off and you just don't say the right thing. In her case, she has an explanation (not an excuse, but a reasoning why it occurs at times). Most have an explanation why it occurs. That is pretty much par for the course. It’s an excepted part of most forums. The problem is that final line. "She apologizes for it." In the .. 6 years.. between new and old forum, that is the one thing I cannot recall ever seeing. It's one thing to screw up and at least show remorse over your actions (or better - actually say you are sorry). People make mistakes; we deal with it and move on. But when the behavior happens time and time again without a hint of remorse or apology... If you cant show remorse for your actions, you can't expect people to see you for anything more than exactly how you acted. |
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| JellicleCatMew |
I pray for VTWC and hope she gets better. | ||||
| littlgriz |
Re: One clarification
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| sweetjemimakitten |
Hmp. I'm clinically depressed and have anger managment issues, does this mean I'm free to lash out on people for no reason and expect them to move on and forgive me? I got my IP banned from The Immortality Project's forums for being "too mean" to people on there, and I learned my lesson; take my meds before I log on.
While I do enjoy VTWC's costumes greatly, the way she chooses to approach people could be worded better. It really doesn't make me want to fork out the $400 for a full costume or whatever when she's rude. |
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| Artisticat |
DelurkingGreetings folks, its been a while, I've missed yall.Like everyone else here I'm throwing in my two cents for what they are worth. I've been a member of this community since the old days, was even your goddess for a time, there are many new faces in this community, many of my dear friends have moved on, i see some have remained, I see that the same problem children are still the same problem children. VTCW has issues, we all do, hers are just more out in the open and she tends to wear them like a shield for her behavior. Seems like she was always causing a stink, for a long time no one would trade with her she was bad about keeping what she offered and taking what was sent in trade. I have not been active here in a long time I do not know if that is still a problem. I'm glad she is finding help, adn I wish her the very best, I do not think returning to this forum would be a smart decision on her part at least not for a time, people change, opinions change. If she does, and she offends you or you know reading threads she is involved wiht will make you mad, ignore those posts. (see folks how much I have grown from my days as teh vengeful Goddess of the forum?) |
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| Rumblepurr |
For the "Late-comers" to this ThreadSome of the comments I have been reading on this thread have failed to see the point here...First, there is one very distinctive difference in this letter - a recognition that past behavior is unacceptable, and that there is an apology for the behavior. In the past, this action was never taken... Second, there is an improvement - a new regimen and treatment. It took a very dark time to turn to a change for the better. Such a change is not going to take place overnight, and it is not going to heal every wound - both "Given" and "Taken"... The recovery and new managment is going to take time. The idea here is to understand what has happened and why. If that helps heal, then fine... If not, then all I ask is not to add fuel to the fire - and this applies to every post - not just this one... A negative reaction to an imflammatory post is natural, but such an act only deepens wounds instead of healing them. Report such posts to the moderators and let them deal with the people who write offensive posts. OR... simply ignore a post, or PM the writer. That is all I am asking of anyone - including myself... Forgive if you want, or not... It is your heart. Artisticat? Some of us still remember the Goddess... Rumblepurr
The Writer Cat. |
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| littlgriz |
Re: For the "Late-comers" to this Thread
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| JellicleCatMew |
Well said,Rumblepurr!  Such mean-spirited comments like "good riddance to bad rubbish" are really uncalled for-VTWC needs prayer and forgiveness,not mean-spirited comments.Let's hope VTWC returns to the forum someday as a better person.
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| Smudge |
That wasn't mean-spirited. It was simple honesty. What VTWC needs is professional help and medication to help her stabilize herself, which is exactly what she says she is getting now, and that's great. However, I don't want her back here until she can stop snarling every time she posts. That is what is mean-spirited. |
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| Kragey |
It's good to see so much support. It's one of the reasons I still love this forum. |