[Flitterbug]

I was in an emotionally abusive relationship for most of this year, and only recently realised what was going on. Since then I've tried to break all contact and be strong but it's so hard and I still love him...

Today I said a final goodbye for the last time and nwo I feel so lost. I have to go to his place tomorrow to pick up what's left of my stuff and I dont know if I'm strong enough to do that.

I just really need to be cheered up and know that I'm doing the right thing.

Can you recommend anything CATS-y to help me get through this? For some reason the musical always has a habit of making me feel better...

[SapphireNight]

I am really really sorry to hear about what youve been through.
Though I cant recomend anything specific, keep watching the vid, with your TV turned to its loudest. My fanaticism with the musical stops with watching it, I am not the sort of person who makes costumes or paints their face; I dont know if you are, or if thats something you want to do. But if Cats makes you happy, keep watching. But dont replay your favourite song till it makes you sick, change songs once in a while, because you can seriously put yourself off a song if you watch it too many times, expeically if its going on repeat in the background.

Flitterbug, know that we are all with you, and will support you. Having spent a long time on this board, I know everyone here are exceptionally nice. Keep watching the vid, with the volume loud as you can stand it, and if possible, see if you could book tickets if you have the production near you. That is my advice. (If it is possible for you to book tickets, make sure it is at least a week away from when you felt your worst, or a little more. You need something to look forward to, and if you see it live too soon, there is a danger of you going from an amazing emotional high crashing to a dangerious low.)

[*asterix*]

[abbeycat]

My Dearest Flitterbug

I can only imagine what you have been going through, and my heart goes out to you.
Cats will help you get through this time,playing it on repeat and grinning like an idiot whilst skimbleshanks is playing is always a good start!
maybe Demeter can help you out?She has seen her fair share of claws and emotional battles from Macavity, but she is still respected within the tribe, she has many friends to rely on, (we are all here for you certainly), She still feels something for Macavity that she can't quite shake but at the same time knows she is a stronger queen for staying away, living her fantastic life and being with her friends.

I think you need to realise you were an amazing person before guy came along, and you need to find that person again. Go and find yourself a 'Jellicle Ball' of your very own (whatever this may mean to you), dance like a crazy fool, laugh, cry, scream, do WHATEVER you need to do to cleanse your mind. Above all, keep talking to people, even if you don't think they understand, sometimes just writing down and speaking your thoughts so you can hear them will help.

Yes, it will hurt, No, it won't be easy. Yes, you will be stronger for it.

[Misto]

It won't do much good me saying this, but I'm sorry to hear about this.
My mum was in a similar situation. She was raped by her uncle when she was younger. I don't really ask questions, so I don't know how she coped.
I would put on some music that I can sing along to. Without sounding cheesy, when I sing, I go to another place, and concentrate on only singing.
Maybe it will help.

[Moongewl]

I agree about taking someone with you when you go. At the least, you'll have someone there to convince you to get your stuff if you try to back out.
In fact, having someone accessible all the time is probably a good idea. Not necessarily in the same room or anything, just somewhere close, where you can go talk to them face-to-face if you need to. When I went through some hard times a few years back, I would think a negative thought, and that would lead me to another negative thought, and I just kept getting more and more upset/sad because there was no one there to stop me from getting into a worse and worse mindset. Talking to other people is the best way to break out of those negative spirals.
Cats-wise, singing one of the upbeat songs and mangling it badly always puts me in a good mood. Dancing around like an idiot with trusted friends who would never breathe a word of such an undignified pastime to anybody else is fun too.

[mistocopat]

Spend time with your friends. Hang around the people that know how to be silly and don't care what you're going through.

[Flitterbug]

Thankyou so much to all of you who've responded. It makes me feel so much better knowing that people out there care - even if they've never met me.

I've been listening to my CATS cds nonstop since I got back this morning. My mother went with me for emotional support when I went to get everything earlier. It was surprisingly easy until I actually had everything packed up and in the car... I started crying and had to let mum do the driving back.

It's strange because I'm stuck between feeling glad that it's over and I can start getting on with life, and sad for the same reason.

Just thankyou for being there for me.

[Pawzxx]

Be strong! Don't look back now!

[Rumpleteazer4760]

Sing. Sing your heart out. Play a musical instrument if you can. Anything that will let out emotion like that will help. I'm sorry to hear that this happened to you, but I'm glad that you are now going to be able to feel strong again. More power to ya!

[Spanish_Rumple]

I guess I can understand your position now. It's recent and it's going to be hard, but I think that time is on your side because it helps a lot when you really want to forget someone. When you don't see that person for a very long time it feels as if he doesn't really exist, because he's only in your memories. So I gues that the more entertained you can keep, the less you'll remember him. When I say entertained I don't necessarily mean with happy or funny stuff. For instance, focus on your job, take the most out of your hobbies, go shopping!! Ok, now, don't misunderstand me, I hate going shopping but I've sorted out a funny way to get rid of a boy who has dumped me. Every time a boy dumps me I go and buy something that I really really want. So far, three this year...hmm well I've got a pair of my favourite tennis shoes black Converse (I loooove Converse), I've bought Pirates of the Caribbean I and the Cats musical trinket box from that place where they were announcing musical boxes from Cats.

In my opinion, during this time you need to be caring to yourself but also try not to focus too much on your hurt feelings. As Mistocopat said, you should give that problem less importance, I think it will help forgetting it. It had been an important and dangerous problem but it is now part of your PAST.

Its been almost 10 months since I broke with the boy I really cared of. Every now and then memories of him still come to my mind and it is frustrating. But I trust on time quite a lot and I've had my great moments! And now I'm starting to like someone different.

Keep on the fight because the will is the most powerful instrument that we have to fight against frustration. And I recommend you specially to be pacient because it's not an easy fight.

You can do it!

[littlgriz1]

my sweet friend i wil be praying fore you aromatherapwy wil help ore if you can talk rto us i love to help if i can