MaryMag
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channeling sara brightmanSo I've decided the way I'm going to get ahead in my local theater scene is to date an artistic director. And, as we all know, artistic directors are usually gay, so this leaves me with slim pickins.
However, I've set my sights on two heteros within 10 years of my age. And I'm making progress with them daily.
Comments? Thoughts? Do you think I'm kidding? Do you think I am being serious? Would you do the same? Did I mention that they're hot?
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Set_Buildin_Dad
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I see no problem with working on dating someone who you are attracted to and who can also help your career. Just remember it's a double edged sword. As long as the dating is going well it should be a plus for your theatrical career. Unfortunately, if the relationship sours it could have a detrimental effect on your career.
If you decide to do this do it for the right reasons, and that is that you are looking for a companion who you can love. Your common interests are a good starting point for a relationship. At the very least these people will understand your commitment to theatre and the sacrafices it involves.
One more thing, don't force the relationship if it isn't working just because it could be "good for your career". If this is happening let it go before things get ugly.
I don't mean to sound preachy, but you did ask for advice. I'm just trying to put myself in the position of a father whose adult daughter had asked him the same queston. I wish you luck.
SBD
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UniquePerspective
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Re: channeling sara brightman | MaryMag wrote: |
Do you think I'm kidding? Do you think I am being serious? Would you do the same? Did I mention that they're hot? |
In order, yes, because it doesn't seem like something MaryMag would do; no, for the same reason as the first question; They'd have to be women for me, but strictly for the sake of moving up in the world, no, but I would if I genuinely had feelings for them; and no, no you didn't.
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PappyCat
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Is that really the way you want to get ahead in the business? As someone whose friends the children of the director of our high school shows, it doesn't matter how talented you are, people will assume you were cast because of your relation to the director.
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Cake_in_Song
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One half of me says, "Do anything to get ahead. Morals are subjective anyways, so it's up to you if you consider this to be a bad thing or not". This side of my brain is the same one that will go after a taken man with no regard to the fact he's taken, because it's filled with want want want.
My other half says, "Listen to the first half."
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lakmé
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| Cake_in_Song wrote: | This side of my brain is the same one that will go after a taken man with no regard to the fact he's taken, because it's filled with want want want.
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oy.
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Kragey
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There are heterosexual men in theater?! =P
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actor
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I'd ---- anyone to help my career (except if they were grotesquely ugly). I don't care if you now think I'm a slut, at least I'm honest.
However, I wouldn't start an actual relationship with someone just to help my career. That isn't fair on them.
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Cake_in_Song
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| lakmé wrote: | | Cake_in_Song wrote: | This side of my brain is the same one that will go after a taken man with no regard to the fact he's taken, because it's filled with want want want.
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oy. |
I guess that makes me a slut? Love is love in my books.
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Salome
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The 3 worst actreses in Muical Theatre got ahead that way..Brightman,Eder and Paige.
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PappyCat
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| Cake_in_Song wrote: | | lakmé wrote: | | Cake_in_Song wrote: | This side of my brain is the same one that will go after a taken man with no regard to the fact he's taken, because it's filled with want want want.
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oy. |
I guess that makes me a slut? Love is love in my books. |
It's disrespectful to the young man in question and his lady friend.
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actor
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| Salome wrote: | | The 3 worst actreses in Muical Theatre got ahead that way..Brightman,Eder and Paige. |
Have you heard on the Original Cast Recording of The Phantom of the Opera when Brightman sings "How dare you, you evil woman, how dare you"?
I pissed myself laughing.
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lakmé
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| Cake_in_Song wrote: |
I guess that makes me a slut? Love is love in my books. |
I certainly did not say that, and the readiness with which you placed that interpretation onto my statement makes me think that you might have those thoughts yourself.
As someone in a committed relationship, I generally find it upsetting when people express no desire to respect that. I also know it takes two to tango.
Additionally, I believe it's pretty important to have a solid idea of what YOU believe your morals are, regardless of what can be viewed as the great subjectivity of morality in our society. Because if you don't know who you are and what you stand for, it can be pretty difficult to stay afloat in this world.
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MaryMag
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| Kragey wrote: | | There are heterosexual men in theater?! =P |
Shocking, yes? I found a pocket of them in one particular theater. It's glorious. GLORIOUS. Testosterone. Mmmmmmmmmm.
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Cake_in_Song
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| PappyCat wrote: | | Cake_in_Song wrote: | | lakmé wrote: | | Cake_in_Song wrote: | This side of my brain is the same one that will go after a taken man with no regard to the fact he's taken, because it's filled with want want want.
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oy. |
I guess that makes me a slut? Love is love in my books. |
It's disrespectful to the young man in question and his lady friend. |
Having feelings is disrespectful? I'd loved him long before she came onto the scene. And maybe I don't give a f*ck about respect anymore. I've been respectful and polite all my life, and where has that gotten me? Trampled under everyone's feet. Unhappy beyond belief. Unsuccessful in all areas of my life. I'm going to do what I want to do now, not what society tells me is the "correct" thing to do, and don't you dare decide you're better than me because of it.
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Salome
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HEATHER!
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UniquePerspective
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| Kragey wrote: | | There are heterosexual men in theater?! =P |
*raises hand*
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PappyCat
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Disrespectful to go after someone who is in a relationship. That puts EVERYONE in an awkward position.
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Salome
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Pappy,
stop fuc king preaching. Heather is finally doing something for herself what are you doing with your love life???
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Bianca.
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Going after shamelessly throwing self against, vs. going after getting to know and coyly flirting if he initiates it...are two different things. I am not opposed to the second. I do however, believe relationships are sacred, and there are lines that I won't cross. Use it as a MERCILESS teasing method, however, Certainly. 
And MM.
....I love you.
Do you know how many times I've thought of doing this?
...and marrying an old rich guy until he dies, while we're on the subject..............................
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Kiwi
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| MaryMag wrote: | | Testosterone. Mmmmmmmmmm. |
I haven't been around real testosterone for a while...It's kinda funny to watch the guys in the theatre department at my school to try to be all manly. "...mmm...tools...heavy lifting...hunting...cars...mmm...phallus" I get a kick out of it.
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benjivaudeville
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| Salome wrote: | Pappy,
stop fuc king preaching. Heather is finally doing something for herself what are you doing with your love life??? |
Worst. Role model. Ever.
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PappyCat
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| Salome wrote: | Pappy,
stop fuc king preaching. Heather is finally doing something for herself what are you doing with your love life??? |
I would not go after someone who was taking. How uncomfortable for the guy. How mean to the girl. I would not attempt to break up a relationship. If the guy liked me, he'd date me, not his current girlfriend.
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MaryMag
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| Cake_in_Song wrote: | | PappyCat wrote: | | Cake_in_Song wrote: | | lakmé wrote: | | Cake_in_Song wrote: | This side of my brain is the same one that will go after a taken man with no regard to the fact he's taken, because it's filled with want want want.
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oy. |
I guess that makes me a slut? Love is love in my books. |
It's disrespectful to the young man in question and his lady friend. |
Having feelings is disrespectful? I'd loved him long before she came onto the scene. And maybe I don't give a f*ck about respect anymore. I've been respectful and polite all my life, and where has that gotten me? Trampled under everyone's feet. Unhappy beyond belief. Unsuccessful in all areas of my life. I'm going to do what I want to do now, not what society tells me is the "correct" thing to do, and don't you dare decide you're better than me because of it. |
Whoa sweet pea. Nobody was attacking you. Stop swinging! Sit down and get back to the subject at hand - me! And hot artistic directors.
Salome - shush! You too. Sit back down. Let's talk about hot older men. Hot older men that can get you jobs.
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jesuiscommejesuis
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You go for it, MaryMags. I mean, if you have feelings for him and feel that if/when things end, they could end peacably, then I see nothing wrong with it and it doing nothing but helping your career.
And as a side note... if you go and try to f*ck a guy who you know is in a relationship with somebody else, that makes you a whore and him a cheating asshole. Good luck with that.
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Kragey
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| UniquePerspective wrote: | | Kragey wrote: | | There are heterosexual men in theater?! =P |
*raises hand* |
Harem members don't count. They're officially off the market.
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MaryMag
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| jesuiscommejesuis wrote: | You go for it, MaryMags. I mean, if you have feelings for him and feel that if/when things end, they could end peacably, then I see nothing wrong with it and it doing nothing but helping your career.
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I think being an AD just makes them more attractive. It implies some level of talent. And talent is immensely sexy. But nothing drives a capricorn crazy like a hard worker. And I can't help but believe you'd be an AD if you weren't a hard worker.
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jesuiscommejesuis
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Yay goats!! 
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Cake_in_Song
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Thank you, jesuis, for once again pointing out the highly subtle and widely unknown fact that you don't like me. By the way, my father cheated on my mother with another woman for nine months, and guess what? I'm perfectly capable of loving both my parents, and I've grown to love Sally, as well. My father is a good, smart, loving person who did something hurtful because he was in pain. No, that wasn't a "good" thing to do, but he didn't do it because he was a bastard. And Sally is a wonderful woman, not a wh*re. We are so quick to judge in this society.
I certainly do not appreciate being called a wh*re just because I loved someone (and still love someone) I shouldn't have. The whole past 20 months with him have been hell enough, without your commentary. Maybe you feel it's immoral, but cheating is not against my moral code.
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Cake_in_Song
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| PappyCat wrote: | | Salome wrote: | Pappy,
stop fuc king preaching. Heather is finally doing something for herself what are you doing with your love life??? |
I would not go after someone who was taking. How uncomfortable for the guy. How mean to the girl. I would not attempt to break up a relationship. If the guy liked me, he'd date me, not his current girlfriend. |
Love isn't black and white like that. You don't just love the person your with, sometimes. It's possible to be confused when you're in a relationship. The same guy who I tried to seduce while he had a girlfriend broke-up with me two weeks ago because of his confused feelings, and his realization that despite six weeks of telling me he loved me and stringing me along, he actually only saw me as a friend. Love is a confusing, painful mess. I would not have pursued him if I didn't know that he was worth it. As a rule, when I meet guys I know are in relationships, I put a screen up in my brain that prevents me from seeing them as more than a friend. But with this guy, I'd already known him and was falling in love with him when he and his "girlfriend" got together. Like all of his relationships, it was a murky mess, and nobody was really sure if they were together (including them). Humans are complex beings, and it's not always possible to boil our emotions and behaviour down to "right" and "wrong".
And for the record, I did not sleep with him. He did not cheat on his girlfriend with me. I did not even go out with him until a year after that incident. That's how much I loved him, and still love him. I would literally wait fifty years if I was sure he'd be true to me afterwards. But, luckily for my heart, I don't believe he would be, so I'm back to harmless crushes on boys (and girls) I will probably never speak to.
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jesuiscommejesuis
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If you ever get married, I hope your husband has an affair and breaks your heart.
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Cake_in_Song
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I've already had my heart broken into a million pieces, thank you very much.
I personally hope you have a lovely life and learn to rid yourself of the negativity in your soul that makes you so hateful towards others. Something must obviously be causing you pain, even unconciously, for you to feel so offended by my actions. Personally, when I see others doing things I don't believe in, I usually don't mind. The only time I do mind is if I feel my beliefs are threatened because I'm not confident enough in myself, and I can usually admit that. Like today. I reacted strongly to some things said about me in this thread because I do have some fears inside of me that I might be a very hurtful person. But I also know that causing someone hurt isn't necessarily immoral, especially if the intention wasn't to cause hurt.
I'm really still wondering how one comment meant to be tongue-and-cheek and slightly funny (I guess I failed comedy in high school) commandeered this thread completely and turned it into the now-common "Jesuiscommejesuis attacks Heather for no obvious reason" thread.
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jesuiscommejesuis
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I love how you try to justify being a skank as something permissable.
Whatever. PM me if you want to continue this, no point destroying MM\'s thread more.
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Cake_in_Song
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The last thing I'm going to say in this thread: I am not a skank. I do not appreciate being called a skank. And I believe that may count as a personal attack against me. It's not the worst you've said, but it's certainly offensive.
I don't feel the need to say anything more. I'm not justifying my behaviour at all. I'm telling the truth. That I had confusing feelings for someone else who regularly has confusing feelings. Things happened. That was the past. I don't really know how a girl who's only ever kissed one guy and is known for avoiding parties and being quiet can really be a skank. I guess your idea of a skank is different than mine.
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jesuiscommejesuis
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My idea of a skank is somebody who, for example, gets with a guy she knows is taken.
There is no way you can put that that can not make you skanky. Even in The Notebook or The Awakening it is skanky. Sorry, somebody who does that is a skank.
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Amber
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Dear MM,
Don't say you're channeling Sarah Brightman. That's implying that you're only with someone for the parts you could get...and I know you wouldn't cheapen yourself like that.
As for going for the AD? Go for it! I mean, you like the guy (attraction doesn't have to be just physical: as you've said, you're attracted to hard workers), and you're not after him just for connections. The way I see it, you should make the top priority the actual relationship, not the fact that this guy can potentially get you places. I think you'll be a lot happier that way, and it'll work out better. And if it does come to an end, hopefully the people you've been put in contact with through this guy will not care because they've seen what a fierce and dedicated performer you are, and you'll be able to succeed without him.
My Global Justice professor always says that most jobs are given to people the employers have some sort of connection with. I think that definitely applies in theatre as well. Since you've found someone you like who could possibly help your career along, why not just do it?
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Salome
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blue carded.
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Bianca.
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Biggest. Share. of. unnecessary. info. EVER.
BAACCK to MM.
That is something I never thought of before.
if it ends sourly, that could be a problem for your career...
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home
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do it
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lakmé
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My friend Emma would be very interested in the conversation re: pursuing a relationship with an AD. She's currently in the process of developing her honors thesis, and it's shaping up to be about relationships between professors and students (at the college and graduate school level), why they are seen as taboo, the power dynamic that is involved in these sorts of relationships.
It's all really fascinating.
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MaryMag
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| Bianca. wrote: | ...
That is something I never thought of before.
if it ends sourly, that could be a problem for your career... |
I's a good girl. I'm still damn near best friends with all my exes. Even the ones that have cheated on me. We still get together for drinks. My relationships don't end sourly. It would be a first.
And did I mention they're hot?
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Salome
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i think you mentioned that like 8 times.
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MaryMag
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| lakmé wrote: | My friend Emma would be very interested in the conversation re: pursuing a relationship with an AD. She's currently in the process of developing her honors thesis, and it's shaping up to be about relationships between professors and students (at the college and graduate school level), why they are seen as taboo, the power dynamic that is involved in these sorts of relationships.
It's all really fascinating. |
I used to see such relationships as taboo, but I'm kind of changing my mind as I grow older. I think the older I get, the more I see how fallible and human people in positions of power (be they professors, artistic directors, etc) can be. That doesn't mean I respect them less or think I'm justified in dismissing them. I still think I'm still in a position where I must honor their instructions and them, but I don't see them as untouchable deities. Just as humans.
That need looooove.
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MaryMag
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| Salome wrote: | | i think you mentioned that like 8 times. |
just makin sure yall understand. straight men in theater are a beautiful thing. rich, gorgeous speaking voices. big beautiful minds and artistic souls. yum.
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Trevor reincarnate
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Hello, MaryMag. My name is Trevor.
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dcrowley
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Lol!!! all of the hot, intelligent, theatre guys (save myself) are all straight... only the sleazy ones tend to be gay... thus the reason why I am alone...
and as for the cheating thing... I thing it takes a gutless coward to cheat... and what makes you think you are so special that he won't turn around and cheat on you after he has had his way with you? I mean, he already proved that he is capable of infidelity. I feel VERY strongly about this... and I don't buy that whole "I have had my heart broken... it's my turn to break hearts"... that is a selfish, heartless, f*cked up answer.
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Salome
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| MaryMag wrote: | | Salome wrote: | | i think you mentioned that like 8 times. |
just makin sure yall understand. straight men in theater are a beautiful thing. rich, gorgeous speaking voices. big beautiful minds and artistic souls. yum. |
Of course they are..and the rumor that there are very few in theatre is wrong.
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Kiwi
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| dcrowley wrote: | Lol!!! all of the hot, intelligent, theatre guys (save myself) are all straight... only the sleazy ones tend to be gay... thus the reason why I am alone...
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Ha, that amuses me. Girls are always complaining about how the good guys are gay, and on the other side, gay guys say the best ones are straight. It's an interesting thing to note, for the next time someone feels like complaining about it on one side or the other, to remember that the people on the other side feel the exact same way.
Anyway...back to what's being discussed 
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Kragey
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I love it when the good ones are gay. Lesbians can't dress themselves properly, so I need somebody to go shopping with. =P
As for the original topic, I'm going to quote Jacquimo (or however the Hell you spell it) from Thumbelina: "You're sure to do impossible things if you follow your heart!"
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Quique
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I'm sorry...this all strikes me kind of whorish.
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Kragey
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| Quique wrote: | | I'm sorry...this all strikes me kind of whorish. |
...what, dating somebody?
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Quique
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See my sig.
As for dating someone..well, one can never be too whorish, lol.
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dcrowley
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I want to go shopping with Kragey!!!!!!
... and I want to be a whore with Quique!
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Kragey
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| dcrowley wrote: | I want to go shopping with Kragey!!!!!!
... and I want to be a whore with Quique! |
W00t! I'm getting a Queer Eye makeover!
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mastachen
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| MaryMag wrote: | | Salome wrote: | | i think you mentioned that like 8 times. |
just makin sure yall understand. straight men in theater are a beautiful thing. rich, gorgeous speaking voices. big beautiful minds and artistic souls. yum. |
That's me, all right. lol
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Psyches
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| Salome wrote: | | The 3 worst actreses in Muical Theatre got ahead that way..Brightman,Eder and Paige. |
TAKE
THAT
BACK!!!
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Salome
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No. They are totally dreadful. Its obvious they only hit the big time because of who they were screwing.
Eder is the worst of the 3...she performs like she is in a daze. Paige screechesmwhines and over emotes. Brightman bugs her eyes out and uses gestures so wild you'd tihnk she was in a silent movie.
I have never i nmy life seen 3 worse actresses on broadway or the west end.
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