MaryMag
|
'NEVER EVER do this at an audition' threadNew thread. Talk about the worst thing you've seen someone do at an audition, and say why that was a horrible mistake.
I'll go first.
NEVER EVER seduce your accompanist in an effort to act out a seductive song. Do I have to explain? He did not sign up to be part of your act. He is there doing there best to sight read your 16bars. You are just scaring him! I saw a girl embracing the accompanist, running her hands over his face, and whispering in his ear. Horrible mistake.
Your turn.
|
kakoforever
|
Act like a diva. This goes for rehearsals too. It may make you feel confident (and cover your nerves), but it gives off the impression that you are full of yourself and difficult to work with. Directors don't want stars that act like stars. They want stars who they can direct.
|
Celeste_SM
|
Drop your pants to demonstrate how "totally ok" you are with skimpy costumes on stage.
|
jazzygirlsings
|
Leave the room after having a less than stellar audition yelling, "They were all a bunch of F*&^% Idiots!" (Yep! It's happened!)
|
opheliarose
|
Blame the accompanist if you screw up!
|
sunrae
|
When doing a cold reading don't stare at your scene partner as if they have the first line and then when they decide they will start (since you aren't) don't scream at them:"EERRRRRRRR, WRONG ANSWER! I have the first line, not you!!"
Seriously, I saw a guy do this with my own eyes!
|
LisaKitty
|
| Celeste_SM wrote: | | Drop your pants to demonstrate how "totally ok" you are with skimpy costumes on stage. |
Actually, I was in a show once with someone who did this in his audition, and ended up getting cast in a principal role!
How about this one ...
Don't walk up to the Stage Manager before you begin your audition in front of the panel and ask to see his nipple rings.
You never know how close the Stage Manager is to the director, and how much influence he/she may have in casting decisions.
|
jazzygirlsings
|
Don't yell at the monitor at an open call and tell him how incompetent he/she is! It could turn out to be the director! 
Yes...I saw a girl do this and I knew the director and when the "real" monitor came in (he was running late)...the director turned to the girl and said, "I'm sorry, I'm not used to doing the monitor thing...I'm more comfortable behind the casting table!"
LMAO! 
|
broadway_baby416
|
Don't try to use a fake-sexy voice. You may think it sounds hot, but really you're just scaring the entire room. I once saw a girl onstage in an audition staring at the director in a "seductive" (in quotes because it was so hilariously fake) way, trying so sound and look sexy (think Fergie in her newest music video). The director was trying SO hard not to laugh, but she just WOULDN'T take the hint. It was very amusing.
|
LisaKitty
|
Don't stand up in the back of the room during a callback audition after the director has asked you to read for a particular role and scream out, "WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU PEOPLE?! I TOLD YOU ON MY AUDITION SHEET THAT I WAS ONLY INTERESTED IN LEAD ROLES! CAN'T YOU READ?!?!"
Do I even need to explain why this is a really bad idea?
|
The Drama Queen
|
Don't walk up to the spot where you're supposed to sing and say: "Hi, my name is Such and Such, and I'm your next American Idol!" with a very enthusiastic grin on your face...A kid who had done several shows at our local theatre did this at an audition for Music Man Jr. and it was the first one in which he didn't get cast.
|
Jenem
|
| Quote: | | Don't walk up to the spot where you're supposed to sing and say: "Hi, my name is Such and Such, and I'm your next American Idol!" with a very enthusiastic grin on your face...A kid who had done several shows at our local theatre did this at an audition for Music Man Jr. and it was the first one in which he didn't get cast. |
Actually I know someone who did this; in her audition, she shook the director's hand and stated, nice to meet you, I'm (character's name) and got the part, which was the second lead.
When rehearsals started, the director was telling this story to the cast and said that her confidence really impressed him, and that it was partly why she got the part.
|
happyguava
|
Ooooh we had a day in our vocal group where we were all given a "no-no" for auditioning and had to perform a terribly wrong audition for everyone. It was hilarious.
One of the funniest ones (and soo bad to do at an audition) was the girl who walked in with a huge box of tissues which she placed next to her on the piano and proceeded to blow her nose noisily and tell the panel that she had a cold and that she was usually a fantastic performer.
|
Impossible Dream
|
According to a friend of mine in pro theatre:
Never ever discuss rates or payment at a professional audition.
And whatever the audition, if you go off - key during your song, do NOT stop in the middle of the song, glare at the panel and shout "You obviously think I'm sh*te, why not just chuck me out now?" before storming off. Yes, I saw someone do this. No, she was not cast.
|
Cake_in_Song
|
Offer to bribe the director. Even if it's a joke, some directors will still be offended.
|
shadowdancer
|
Walk into an audition room and loudly state "OK, which role is mine?" Now, yes I did this. All the other people auditioning thought I was a total diva (found out later). My friends I knew there just started laughing and I didn't understand why. What happened was the director called me to audition, I had just been in two plays with him) for the show he was directing. I was not familiar with the show at all so I went, unprepared: he called me that day. I knew the stage manager well so just went to her and said "Ok which part is mine." I guess it came out like "I am the shit and will have any role I want so get outta here you suckas!" What I meant was,since I don't know the shows, what roles should I read for based on type/age. There werer these two guys who I had auditioned against before several times, I always got parts over them, and as soon as I said it they stood up and walked out. now, I am the first to admit yes at that point in my life and working where I was, yes I coudl be a bit of a diva, but never in front of peopel, and not in that situation. I felt bad. When my friends finally explained what I had said iw as like oops! and felt like a shit. YIKES! Anyways, in case you are wondering, I got the lead 
|
Imy
|
Re: 'NEVER EVER do this at an audition' thread | MaryMag wrote: |
NEVER EVER seduce your accompanist in an effort to act out a seductive song. Do I have to explain? He did not sign up to be part of your act. He is there doing there best to sight read your 16bars. You are just scaring him! I saw a girl embracing the accompanist, running her hands over his face, and whispering in his ear. Horrible mistake.
|
I've actually done this...but it was under the right circumstances.
It was a college show, the pianist was also the music director, he's head of the music theatre program, and I'd worked with him a hundred times before. I sang "What Do I Need With Love?" and played the whole thing like I was fighting off falling in love with him. It was very funny and I got cast.
But I agree it doesn't work in all situations. I'd imagine it would be really awkward to do that audition with a stranger behind the piano. 
|
MaryMag
|
Re: 'NEVER EVER do this at an audition' thread | Imy wrote: | | MaryMag wrote: |
NEVER EVER seduce your accompanist in an effort to act out a seductive song. Do I have to explain? He did not sign up to be part of your act. He is there doing there best to sight read your 16bars. You are just scaring him! I saw a girl embracing the accompanist, running her hands over his face, and whispering in his ear. Horrible mistake.
|
I've actually done this...but it was under the right circumstances.
It was a college show, the pianist was also the music director, he's head of the music theatre program, and I'd worked with him a hundred times before. I sang "What Do I Need With Love?" and played the whole thing like I was fighting off falling in love with him. It was very funny and I got cast.
But I agree it doesn't work in all situations. I'd imagine it would be really awkward to do that audition with a stranger behind the piano. |
It doesn't sound like you were actually touching him, though. It sounds like you were just acting your song to him. That's another hotly debated issue - to involve the CD in your monologue/song or to not make eye contact. I think it's a pretty good rule to not physically touch the CD/piano player.
One more thing - don't hump the piano either. I've seen women get pretty nasty with them when they sing 'i love a piano.' It's not witty. It's not an original choice.
|
Kaaatrina
|
Re: 'NEVER EVER do this at an audition' thread | MaryMag wrote: | | One more thing - don't hump the piano either. I've seen women get pretty nasty with them when they sing 'i love a piano.' It's not witty. It's not an original choice. |
OMG I can imagine someone doing that in my mind and it's hilarious.
(But at the same time, not pretty.)
|
Impossible Dream
|
Whaaaaaat? I can sort of imagine that under the right circumstances, draping yourself sinuously over the top of the piano might work. But not trying to use it as if you were auditioning for the Playboy channel. Ugh!
|
MademoiselleMusicals
|
Re: 'NEVER EVER do this at an audition' thread | theaterdork wrote: | | MaryMag wrote: | | One more thing - don't hump the piano either. I've seen women get pretty nasty with them when they sing 'i love a piano.' It's not witty. It's not an original choice. |
OMG I can imagine someone doing that in my mind and it's hilarious.
(But at the same time, not pretty.) |
Same lol!!!!
What you must never do at an audition... If something DOES go wrong, don't make a scene about it. Smile (although you will be probably having a panic attack ) and carry on.
I've leant that if you do go wrong it's best not to stop the whole entire thing (especially in dialogue) as the casting will see that you have the ability to move on. In songs this would be more difficult, if it's a major problem like starting off on the wrong key, smile coyly and ask the MD / Director if you could start again.
|
disneybeauty
|
DON'T DO THISOkay, here's a new one. Someone showed up stoned to an audition that a friend of mine was at. She sang off-key, then called the Stage Manager to set up a new audition time, because once sober she realized she was off-key. They let her audition a second time, and there was no difference between the 2 renditions.
Word to the Wise: don't show up to an audition stoned.
|
disneybeauty
|
DON'T DO THISOkay, here's a new one. Someone showed up stoned to an audition that a friend of mine was at. She sang off-key, then called the Stage Manager to set up a new audition time, because once sober she realized she was off-key. They let her audition a second time, and there was no difference between the 2 renditions.
Word to the Wise: don't show up to an audition stoned.
|
christinadaae
|
or drunk.
true story.
|
AllThatJazzHands
|
At my Steel Magnolias audition, I was in the room doing my little monologue and the girl who had just went before decided she would come back, open the door and yell "So when will we know about call backs?!" The CD and director just looked at her and said "Oh, we'll call by tomorrow night." They were nice to her, but when she closed the door they rolled their eyes. It was hilarious. Needless to say, she wasn't cast.
Also, at college auditions, a girl came up and "Hi, my name is ____ and I'm contestant #7!"
I almost DIED. This was at the North Carolina Theatre Conference and the auditions were general college ones. Basically every theatre dept. from the state was there--and she said "contestant #7". But not just once. She did it again when she finished her monologue/song! Luckily no one laughed.
So, what did I learn? Never interrupt another person's audition to ask a question you should've heard answered 20 minutes ago. And never refer to yourself as a contestant when auditioning. Not even for American Idol, folks.
|
Buff Daddy
|
Never tell an audition panel "I'm the best [insert voice type here] you'll hear all day."
I was told by a MD that a female said that in reply to the question "Why should we cast you?". Keep in mind that this was for "Godspell" which is very much an ensemble show, so the panel were looking for people who would work well in a group and not be a diva.
Can you guess the result?
Buff
|
Gwen
|
NEVER sing a theme song from a little kids show.
(ie: Pokemon theme song.)
I saw someone do this- I was rolling on the floor.
|
